Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we made out on top of his cat.

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  (503): we made out on top of his cat. http://tfl.nu/6lsk
  Replies (18) Good night (1337) Bad night (2841)
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  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5325) Bad night (475)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Are you trying to threaten my boobs?

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  (402): Are you trying to threaten my boobs? http://tfl.nu/zkua
  Replies (17) Good night (3109) Bad night (949)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame

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  (708): Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame http://tfl.nu/f96m
  Replies (14) Good night (1107) Bad night (4182)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.

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  (301): not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk. http://tfl.nu/3j1w
  Replies (2) Good night (811) Bad night (1695)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.

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  (763): FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though. http://tfl.nu/i3qf
  Replies (6) Good night (2481) Bad night (1045)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.

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  (317): I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck. http://tfl.nu/ppsw
  Replies (10) Good night (952) Bad night (1515)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.

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  (253): Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know. http://tfl.nu/n76e
  Replies (6) Good night (578) Bad night (1333)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (327)
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  (650): View more from California

  Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you

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  (650): Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you http://tfl.nu/x9ov
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (260)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??

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  (214): That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that?? http://tfl.nu/dflx
  Replies (9) Good night (296) Bad night (636)
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  (212): View more from New York

  How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

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  (212): How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour? http://tfl.nu/2ooq
  Replies (6) Good night (533) Bad night (301)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.

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  (410): The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day. http://tfl.nu/gmm1
  Replies (4) Good night (461) Bad night (254)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.

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  (218): Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning. http://tfl.nu/ybgs
  Replies (3) Good night (276) Bad night (805)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.

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  (606): You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep. http://tfl.nu/jgge
  Replies (2) Good night (201) Bad night (558)

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