I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho