Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks

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  (914): I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks http://tfl.nu/uwbl
  Replies (9) Good night (1307) Bad night (550)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Betty ford says i'm here all night

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  (215): Betty ford says i'm here all night http://tfl.nu/rxoa
  Replies (2) Good night (798) Bad night (435)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Someone shit on the floor

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  (216): Someone shit on the floor http://tfl.nu/4f0v
  Replies (20) Good night (699) Bad night (2909)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.

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  (267): i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts? (267): i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about. http://tfl.nu/nsac
  Replies (51) Good night (3261) Bad night (901)
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  (619): View more from California

  i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...

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  (619): i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"... http://tfl.nu/0of4
  Replies (113) Good night (5939) Bad night (1280)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin

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  (630): It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin http://tfl.nu/b3ck
  Replies (18) Good night (4189) Bad night (561)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.

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  (302): I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn. http://tfl.nu/nwzi
  Replies (45) Good night (4831) Bad night (1028)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.

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  (647): We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda. http://tfl.nu/2f76
  Replies (8) Good night (3996) Bad night (963)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated

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  (603): I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated http://tfl.nu/wizt
  Replies (8) Good night (2372) Bad night (802)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

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  (541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body. http://tfl.nu/3ysy
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (451)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take

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  (208): Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take http://tfl.nu/kx00
  Replies (2) Good night (764) Bad night (375)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"

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  (440): Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!" http://tfl.nu/2j1e
  Replies (11) Good night (1745) Bad night (545)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.

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  (262): My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels. http://tfl.nu/4t4s
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (201)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.

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  (503): You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner. http://tfl.nu/k4un
  Replies (5) Good night (618) Bad night (241)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets

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  (678): when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets http://tfl.nu/rbr4
  Replies (3) Good night (717) Bad night (204)

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