Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?

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(845): View more from New York

Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success

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(913): View more from Kansas

Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(913): View more from Kansas

You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup

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(415): View more from California

All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk

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(410): View more from Maryland

You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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(816): View more from Missouri

Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street

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(716): View more from New York

Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.

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