Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

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(951): View more from California

I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.

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(631): View more from New York

I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(847): View more from Illinois

I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face

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(540): View more from Virginia

is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?

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(630): View more from Illinois

Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.

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(903): View more from Texas

Han Solo would be ashamed of me.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.

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