Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.

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(732): You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up. http://tfl.nu/jzsw

Replies (8) Good night (816) Bad night (3174)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops

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(678): Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops http://tfl.nu/ljhs

Replies (2) Good night (1987) Bad night (1119)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"

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(908): We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!" http://tfl.nu/fs29

Replies (11) Good night (4017) Bad night (1264)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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(540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v

Replies (9) Good night (2680) Bad night (767)
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(360): View more from Washington

he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously

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(360): he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously http://tfl.nu/w3a5

Replies (3) Good night (1946) Bad night (650)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.

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(773): Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that. http://tfl.nu/tp3a

Replies (8) Good night (1512) Bad night (586)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.

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(414): I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night. http://tfl.nu/mhsz

Replies (13) Good night (705) Bad night (1170)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

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(240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp

Replies (3) Good night (1312) Bad night (651)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on

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(503): I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on http://tfl.nu/i6tt

Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (375)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

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(901): How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close http://tfl.nu/pa4w

Replies (7) Good night (688) Bad night (411)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation

(978): View more from Massachusetts

You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Not be drunk

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(781): Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation (978): You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing (781): Not be drunk http://tfl.nu/0wwo

Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (336)
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(214): View more from Texas

He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."

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(214): He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here." http://tfl.nu/qwmx

Replies (0) Good night (602) Bad night (383)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.

(541): View more from Oregon

It's been productive.

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(541): Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break. (541): It's been productive. http://tfl.nu/6hhe

Replies (4) Good night (586) Bad night (261)
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(678): View more from Georgia

By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.

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(678): By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options. http://tfl.nu/d9kl

Replies (4) Good night (606) Bad night (181)
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(530): View more from California

My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.

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(530): My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good. http://tfl.nu/am6d

Replies (2) Good night (272) Bad night (185)

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