chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come