its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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