escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
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We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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