I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
