I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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