your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
