Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
