in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
