Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
