I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
