he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
