I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
