The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
