Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
