the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
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WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize