We're facebook friends in real life
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
