Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
