is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
