No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
ttyl tear gas
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
