So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
