she was so not down for the gang bang
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
