$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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