At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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