Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you never un-have a 4some
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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