Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
