these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
