Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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