i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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