my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
there's paper in my vomit.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
