I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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