bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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