If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.