i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
