everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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