You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize