Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
