Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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