He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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