carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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