it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
