So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
