A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
