is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
