his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
