YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
