is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
