Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
