Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
