oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
