You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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