please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
