we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
The ass gains better be worth it
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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