are you so shy because you have an std?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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