im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm sobbing to NWA
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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