just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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