I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
