if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
