I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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